Hey hey, my feisty little tomatoes! How're ya hangin? (Haha, tomato jokes. I love 'em!)

I'm just stoppin' by th' office ta pick up a new pair'a boots (you don't even wanna know what nasty stuff I had ta tromp through ta retrieve th' intel I needed ta "obtain" fer my last employer). But since I'm here, figured I oughta stop in an' post a lil somethin'.

So ya know those journals where people just post a buncha random Twitter junk insteada entries an' think it amounts ta fascinating storytellin'? You know what I mean. Like:


Look what I posted on Twitter today!

ha i fell aslepp again what is up with that

yesterday i ate a snadwich it was good

i don't really like lettuce though wat do you think?

my cat fell off the bed i am so bored

isn't twitter awesome i wish more people actually read this

i wonder if i should brush my teeth what do u think? nah.


Yeah, I hate 'em too. But, ya know, every now-an-then ya just gotta immortalize great moments in Twitter hist'ry, an' the first ever time I had a party that some'a you feebs crashed came to definitely counts.

( All I did was offer her a beer...hey, where'd all these people come from?? )

Hey, ya know what else counts as Twitter stuff that's *gotta* be recorded? The Legends of Ryan Reynolds, a glorious byproduct of #ryanreynolds / #deadpool week. An' that reminds me, if ya don't know already, I've declared this week on Twitter ta be "#ryanreynolds / #deadpool week" just 'CAUSE I CAN. So ev'ry day, everybody tweet somethin' with #ryanreynolds and #deadpool in it. Don't care what it is! Just make somethin' up if ya have to. Or help add ta our list of Completely True and Accurate Facts about Ryan Reynolds, also known as:

( The Legends of Ryan Reynolds )

An' now...I gotta go see what Sandi did with my spare mask. No rest fer the poor mercenary! So until next time, keep 'em primed an' prepped!

Leapin' lizards in a Lambourghini, my fearless fans! I gotta admit I don't usually do this, but my No. 1 fan foresthouse gave me the big virtual puppy-dog eyes and asked me to pass along this little message to all my friends (that'd be YOU, feebs). An' I can't say no to a cute blonde with puppy-dog eyes, can I? (Even if they are virtual an' all!) So here goes. foresthouse says:

Dear Deadpool,

The new Wolverine movie is coming out soon, and they're doing a contest to decide where to hold the premiere. The town with the most votes wins. If your fans want to vote for their hometown, that's totally cool, but if any of your fans don't feel any particular desire to vote for their own hometowns, could they maybe go to the X-Men Origins: Wolverine contest site and vote for Washington, D.C. to host the premiere of the movie? (They can use the zip code 20005 if they want - it's a central DC location.) I figure it actually has a chance of winning since it's a big city. And then maybe for once I can actually see a real live movie star. Which would be exciting, yo. Especially if his name rhymed with, say, Buyin' Kennels. Or Blue Pacman. Or even, We've...um...ok, nothing rhymes with Schreiber. But he's cool too.

I promise that if they show up in my city I will take oodles of pictures and write about it and post things and stuff. Lots of stuff.

PLEASEIWILLLOVEYOUFOREVERKTHX!

Your bestest fan ever,
foresthouse

So there's that, then! And, uh, Sandi tells me if I don't start answerin' questions soon she's gonna take away the feng shui fountain she bought me last week for bein' such a good boss. So, yeah, I'll be doin' that REAL SOON (Because I love my fountain. It is sparkly.)

So stay tuned!